Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
