it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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