I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isnโt very good.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize