Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.