brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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