somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I puked a lego.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize