peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
