i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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