Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
