Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
