Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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