I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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