I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
