So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
