never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize