Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
