my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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