I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
