This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
