she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
