Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
