two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
