Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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