We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
