Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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