if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
