dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
