like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it's great music for shaving your balls
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
