i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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