hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
