his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
