why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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