If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
