Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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