well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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