i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
