allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
