I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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