lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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