Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
