Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
two words...techno handjob
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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