He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I could make wine with my vomit
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
