Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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