You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
