Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
