I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
