My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
