Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
