Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
two words...techno handjob
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Found your dick twin last night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
