The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
