he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
