I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
