My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
