Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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