I CAN MOONWALK!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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