OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
be right there i have to get my cape
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
