a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
